I sit here – in limbo of what to do, how to feel, how to formulate thoughts.
I have returned back home from a week-long trip to Crown Point, New Mexico. I, along with 8 youth and 2 other leaders arrived last Sunday, returned tonight, and partook in experiences indescribable. This was made possible through Next Step Ministries
Naturally, I will soon try to unpack what this week meant to me. To each individual student and leader. To us.
I am spent, weary in body and mind. But not in spirit. My spirit is alive and breathing. It usually fluctuates between stagnant and stirring, yet this week – Oh how it stirred.
It stirred for the lives of those I met – whom I cannot begin to introduce you to – though again, I will soon try. The people I met there continue to amaze me even after the ‘goodbyes’.
Soon I will come back – unfurl the vagueness to clarity as best I can. I had to give a small briefing of my time away. For while I returned to Boston tonight, to my wonderful apartment in this giant house, with cushy possessions I overlook with ingratitude far too often…I think of the word “home” with a question mark. Home?
Am I? Wasn’t I at home in New Mexico in ways I did not expect nor foresee? Wasn’t I given a place to grow, enrich, try-fail-and-try again, with a constant flow of encouragement and an unbiased love? I was treated as a sister, a confidant, as a literal-instant friend. A place such as this is one I will always long to call home.
So yes, I have returned home to Massachusetts. I had a layover in a city I called home for almost a decade (in a state that was home for 2 and a half decades) – and still consider it a place my heart remains. And I came from a new home (CP, NM
). I have more homes than I thought possible. More I could list. I will not camp at just one
. I realize now more than ever, that it’s impossible for me to do so. I stir to explore, expand and elevate my experiences. I hope I never stop discovering new beauties, in new lands, with new company of astounding people joining in the journey.