I have not been great at posting. I know this. Not even on my professional blog, have I been organized or diligent in the recording of all I wish to say. Merely admitting these peccadilloes will not substitute for fixing the problem, and doing as I long to do – which is hold myself to a better standard of communicating and enriching my writing volume and skill.
So – now that the confession and self-reprimand is out of the way, allow me to declare something I’ve been thinking of, and would like to record as an attempt to follow through. I’m on an “improvement line”, hoping to change a few things about myself. These are all things I have chosen to improve, without pressing from anyone else. I’ve been evaluating how I would like to grow, mature, learn every day what it means and how it will look like to bloom into the woman God desires me to be. And I desire what He desires for me. It’s about time I do. It’s time for my eyes to see as His, and not my neighbor’s, my enemy’s or even my own skewed eyes perceive me to be.
This is all real and will deepen as I navigate through the list I’ve been making, and how I’ve been praying through these attributes I long to peel off, and the brighter garments I wish to wear instead. For now, I’m going to start with something that may seem incredibly superficial, but bear with me. It’s not the pinnacle, but I believe it’s a good beginning for me at least.
I’m going to wean myself off of coffee.
I first, need to train myself to lessen at first. See how that goes.
So I’m starting today, making my “week” begin on Wednesdays, and cut back my intake. I’m allowing myself 4 cups of coffee in a week’s time. That may seem like an insignificant change, but for me, sadly it’s not. It will be very hard. I enjoy the taste, the caffeine’s effect on me, the catharsis of it all – I love it. Yet I know my insides are suffering greatly for my addiction. I most days have 2 cups in one morning, with the possibility for more later in the day. So…yeah…it will be interesting.
Now, I’m not going cold turkey, and my goal, if you see the declaration, isn’t to cut out caffeine from my system (which would probably be highly beneficial itself!), but just to cut back on coffee, because I’d like to switch over to tea – letting that be my majority supply. My system isn’t immune to tea’s effects either, but the ravage coffee takes on my stomach alone, is enough for me to realize a change is needed, for my stomach has enough health issues.
Now, I realize this isn’t really one to check off the list for my ultimate goals of improving my maturity in Christ and in overall growth, but there are deeper, more significant changes I have in mind. This is merely a surface beginning. Taking care of our bodies, treating them as holy, that is spoken of in the Word. This is my way to begin to care more. So as silly as this dichotomy is, run with me. It’ll be fun to share with you my woes and hopefully successes along the way. You – out there, both anonymous and known readers/friends/etc, are my technological accountability. I like knowing you’re there. I’d like it even more if you took some time to speak up, chat with me, give me your insights, ideas, your own revelations. That is what community is all about – relating with one another, sharing, divulging…
I raise my glass to you. To myself. To growth.