In 2004, I received a birthday gift from two kind friends of mine.

I started it, I forgot it. I started it, I forgot it. I never got past page 49. Yet I always knew, in the back of my mind, that whenever I did finally pick it up, and not put it down until finished, that it would somehow be the perfect timing. That I would be ready to hear what she had to say. It’s truly sad that 6 years had to pass before I rolled up my sleeves and started turning the pages with intent.

I began again today. I’m not past my pg.49 (though I might be after the last word is typed here, and before shutting my eyes to sleep), but the change is that I will not stop until I am finished. I can’t explain the back and forth of before. I know that I always needed to active-verb Believe – and that it is a continuing, “present-active-participle” action (see the book for explanation).

I’m thankful that my library has some Beth Moore available. I’ve put two on my list, picking up the first of the two today. Kristin, my dear friend has suggested her to me before. Beth seems to resonate deeply with the life journeys woman of God can proceed down. I know that almost every book I see of hers, could have “Leigh,” right before the rest of the title and it would be perfect (“Leigh, Get Out of That Pit” or “Leigh, say So Long Insecurity“). It probably wouldn’t sell as many copies that way, but I’d sure get the picture.

There is so much that can swirl through my head. But you know what I’m realizing is the only thing that matters? What God is saying. What His words are for me. How He identifies me. Not how I label myself, not how my peers (though they love me and I them) measure me up to be, not what anyone else deems me capable of or what anyone decides I’m made of.