In September, I mused how ‘One Day’ might possibly look like. How, in a seemingly small way in relation to a lifetime, yet enormously impactful to my own world — having the peace of heart to know I’m provided for would be a welcome comfort.
In a season where helping the community is increased and donating to pantries and funds and organizations is harnessed, I can wholeheartedly say that I can relate to those who might benefit from such generosity. I’ve personally walked through many moments throughout my life where I’ve been in real need for the physical provisions of this world. I don’t talk about it much…it’s just not something you advertise. And while I do not promote comparing oneself to anyone else, I cannot pretend to know all levels of want, nor assume I can understand all of another’s journey and tribulation. I, by the grace of a merciful God, have never actually gone without a roof over my head for a time. It’s been closer than I would wish on anyone, yet not over that line. Further, I’ve never had to count the days between a meal.
A few months back, I walked through a valley of such shadow. Many things existed, surrounding me in that valley. Basic needs were in tumult. My praying knees were worn. My cabinet was sparse. And in the “One Day” referenced post, I released a hurt which encompassed much of that time as well.
Tonight, as I came home from work (one of the splendid joys that came in the morning ~ Psalm 30:5b), my throat tightened and my eyes welled with renewed thanksgiving as I saw these sights.
I have food. I have a pantry of choices. The mere option of choice is something that stuck me dumb.
I have been accustomed to bare. Used to space.
Sunday I was able to purchase. No, I wasn’t let loose and free without restriction of a budget and careful choices. But here’s the heart-beat-faster clincher…when I got up to the checkout line — I was at PEACE. Abba, Lord, you gave me peace. Not palpitations.
I might not be able to convey to you the significance of this. But friends, it is an elation beyond measure to see ‘fill’ where there was often such ‘space’.
I had work today. I have a paycheck each week. I have food today. Delicious, healthy food. I got to choose it. It’s a freedom that is not always guaranteed. It is so easy to take for granted. And it is not only in a holiday season where we should remember that millions (yes, millions) in this country alone do not have that ability to choose from variety, or see limited space over barrenness in their cupboards. Do you have cans growing dust from neglect? Do you have even $10 extra to buy napkins, pasta, shampoo for the population yearning for a house where needs are fulfilled? This is not a guilt message or one from an out-of-touch “preacher”. Please accept these words that drip from my mouth as those of testament. From one who caught a sliver of a glimpse into the desperation of need. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I can love. And I can advocate. And I can proclaim the true Giver of that which Sustains and never perishes. And I can tell you portions of my reality to perhaps make you more aware of others’.
I saw a beautiful sight tonight, and realized I didn’t receive it from my own gain. I am a product of Jehovah-Jireh. Let Him be true and known to the ends of the earth.