Have no fear.
You are not alone.
When you may feel abandonded – that people always leave;
When you may feel irrelevant – as if relating to someone seems a fictional artform;
When you may feel dejected – as if all you touch crumbles in the dust of failure;
When you may feel angry – though you cannot pinpoint the reason why;
Or a myriad of the other emotions which life on this earth can breed and produce…
Do not fear.
Fear is one of the most crippling deformations. It poisons our limbs, our minds, our hearts. It stagnates what was always meant to thrive: our lives.
I cannot pretend that I know nothing of the subject. My confession: I’ve allowed fear to blockade my way in countless directions. I’ve felt every emotion/thought listed at the beginning of this post. I’ve replaced faith with terror and thus have not only taken myself out of the game – I’ve left my equipment, left the field, and continued to run far away…all in the name of cowardice. I’ve felt and thought almost all you can imagine.
I point a finger at no one else. This is my sin. My disfigured allowance at attempting life.
Still more and more abound – the gifts He gives to His own. I am working on faith. I’m embarrassed to say, that even though I have been His believer and child for over 2 decades – my faith is elementary. Oh sure, at differing seasons I’ve had stronger convictions. Knowing in fuller force His might, desire and capability.
The tragedy is that I have seen the Spirit, mighty and gentle at the same time, surrounding me until all I can feel is held – even at the bottom of a pit. I’ve seen and felt His genuine presence of love, and yet still I let lies become louder. Still there are seasons of forget and unnecessary wandering – when all my Father wants is for me to come home.
Perhaps you are in a similar situation. Maybe this is a season where the dissonance of doubt is clanging. First, know that you are not ever alone.