Sometimes I think weariness is not misplaced.
Sometimes I believe exhaustion is made to reign.
The Hebrew usage yaeph
meaning “weary” or “weariness” is referenced in the Old Testament 13 times.
In Greek, the word κοπιάω (kopiaó) means to grow weary, to toil with effort. This particular usage is accompanied with a possessive nature to the verb (such as “I toil” or “I become weary”). This is used in the New Testament 23 times, with another 18 separate times when the word is used as a noun.
I bring this up to show that the act of exhaustion isn’t new to our fast-paced American way of life. It isn’t restricted by continents or cultures. It was introduced the moment the choices were made and sin exploded into this world. Genesis 3:17 tells us: “Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.” That word “toil” is the Hebrew itstsabon, and used 3 times.
Sometimes, I find that I’m tired so very often.
It isn’t always dependent upon hours of sleep, or level of labor.
I simply feel sluggish oftentimes.
And this is where I realize it’s not by chance.
I wasn’t made to make it on my own. Though I often cry out–wishing I could.
Even Adam and Eve were created with holes inside of them. Only they didn’t realize they were never meant to feel the emptiness of the holes’ existence. Because HE was created to forever inhabit that space. We broke the bond with sin. Those holes were realized. And it has never been the same since.
I am weary, I am laden in heaviness, enervated because I am in constant need of Him.
I am never inside a moment where I’m sufficient without. Sometimes I may feel “competent” enough, and forget my incompleteness. But then I feel it. T i r e d to my bones. And He’s there, filling the awareness that I am missing the great I AM.
So I see it. I register the actuality. Exhaustion is made to reign in my life. And because He loves me SO, He will never let me forget my need of Him and His use of me.
How marvelous that my Abba will never leave me to myself. Selah! Glory.
So today I am exhausted. I can’t find mental clarity and my head pounds with a headache that has only marginally lessened. And I’m finding time to sing praises, because I have grasped it. And I will happily be tired all my days if it means this memory stays with me: I am never without.