The blinker pulses on blank screen, waiting for direction. Asking to be expanded, leaving thought-provoking words in its wake. Witty banter. Keen discovery.
And I hesitate again.
Mind reels and scenarios play out and I pray to understand relationships and chemistry between people. Pray bravery in a fallen world when people hurt. When I hurt people. Hands tingle and knees shake through stumbles and slips.
And I fear again.
Smiles open wide and arms embrace fierce. Questions ensue and the game of catch up takes her dance. We share and illuminate God’s grace in our lives. The “what happened” moments of confusion fade between our friendships and between our sentences and we are left with the moments of joy that happened, intimacy and prayer.
And I give thanks for the miracle of growing again.
I ask what will come. I hesitate every day. I find time to fear before new dawns over something inconsequential. I lack in my ability to give thanks in every moment, though all the time I try and ask for the wisdom to know the difference between truth and lie. Between courage and defeat. Between “i can’t” and “He can”.
And He holds my hand again.
So I find the peace to traipse through one more day. To beg for change in me. Growth in my person and character. Patience through the hurts. Forgiveness through the past. Joy through every instance.
For there is a difference between happy and joy. And even in the times I cannot find happy in the spaces – I can always ….. always find the joy.
Again and again.
Love this!! that last line~ I may not find the happy in the spaces~ I can always find joy!! Beautiful!!!
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I agree, the last line was beautiful. I am holding on to His hand so tight right now. I can because He did, He is, and He will! I enjoyed your entry very much!
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Jennifer! My twitter friend. Thank you SO much for coming by. For your sweet words! They are uplifting to read. 🙂
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Jhona thank you very much! I am so thrilled you came by. And to know we share in our Father's care, how wonderful is that? You are so welcome here! 🙂
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I love how you can always find the joy, and how you push past the fear…And I am so happy to know your trip went so well…Hugs to you, Leigh 🙂
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