Eyelids close, slow inhale, exhale releases….
I want to type with blindness. Just because. It seems fitting. needed. An expiremint worthy of….of what?
I am back in leathered chair, rustic ottoman ensuring comfort. Music coming a little too loudly through manufactured speakers. Surrounded by others sipping and typing, chatting and zoning out – each in his and her own space.
I’m present. Yet too often I am absent.
Mind ticks through all possible inflections of one word with many meanings: present.
An intuition trained in collegiate classrooms, writing sessions, exercises in exploring all options.
Present your case. A present given. One allowing oneself in the here and now – the present.
One word can make the journey thousands of miles and leagues deep before it can ever be exhausted in its use.
Yet I give up so often to allow the adventure to carry me away. I tarry and toil to stay. Stay in what? I am a girl made under adventurous stars, with DNA intent on venturing out in the unexpected. Made by hands bound by no walls, no restraints. Pure love and abounding joy.
I swat away the tenacious summer flies that are intent on invading the indoors.
I am always distracted.
When am I present in my moments?
When will I take advantage of my electrons and neurons and when will I spill out from the boundaries I build so His purposes for my cells, my hands, my feet, my lips can be realized? Obedience in essence?
Edgy, restless, knowing there are reasons for my ‘less than’ days. Not wanting to zone in on anything of form. Settling for hazy.
Lids descend once again. Finish as one begins. A usual ending. Taunting the expectations of being here.
Here, but changing.
Observing in ways unusual. Senses awakening. Compensating for those that break.