One of the undeniable attestations of being a human is growth will keep coming.
One of the side-effects of being an adult is the hurt will visit frequently and the discomfort will be a close companion.
I’ve had the topic to which this post will explore stirring within for quite some time.
It’s been noted that much can happen in a year. I can’t say I expected how truthful and repetitive this would be in regards to my life. Repetitive, for it’s not just last year to current that has sped though on the back of difference – but in only 6 months’ time, transformation has taken the reins yet again and proved that even more alterations can be stitched to a soul.
It may be hard to narrow down all this lingering pensiveness. Bear with me?
I’ve moved positions and places within my house three times. All before typing this sentence.
Antsy creeps like a rash and I don’t know why I can’t just get this out.
It wears as varying shades on different people. It looks altered from one person to the next.
Yours may not look like mine. Mine may not feel like yours.
But brave is action verb. It has movement and requires present-tense to survive.
The word dies out with stagnation.
Do not mistake stillness with stagnation. Because sometimes bravery is choosing to stay in stillness when every molecule is screaming kinetic.
Stagnation, in contrast, is putrid immobility.
It is lock. Non-advancing.
A breeding ground for decay.
Do not decay. Let oxygen flow though your pores and pieces. Give brave a try.
B u t I have heed to lend.
Bravery may not reward how you expect.
Sometimes, standing up and doing the thing you fear in the face of nothing you’ve known will not give you the anticipated result.
Defending the hurting may not bring their gratitude.
Standing up against tyranny may not garner respect nor any measurable change.
Quitting the dangerous habit may not help you feel any better.
Speaking words you’ve never before let escape your lips, sharing portions of your heart and mind, may not even get a response or acknowledgement from the receiver.
You may be left alone in the wake of your brave.
♦ Do not let that stop you. ♦
Like fireworks, our brave pulls apart the dark. It competes against the stars – the light we emit when we do the things we fear.
Our legacies hide in the ashes – after the brilliance fades, the evidence remains. The proof that we were, that we took action, that we were afraid, but to do it anyway.
Because it’s not brave if you’re not scared. If you have nothing to lose, it’s not courage, it’s effortless. And when has effortlessness enacted change?
Growth is effort.
Transformation fights with all its heart. To exist. To leave the scars that are loud and clear. To not be erased.
I can tell you – no matter the result – brave will make you feel more beautiful, strong, thriving and thankful.
To participate in the architectural process of your form – is a partnership you will never regret.
Maybe you fortified your steadiness where wavering once stood.
Maybe closeness of Spirit lingered where before, you felt the rushing wind of lonely.
Maybe wisdom embedded in your bones where uncertainty used to root.
Maybe authenticity finally won the day and you decided that the masquerade offered no way to breathe.
Whatever occurs, do not let the after prevent the action.
I have been experimenting with what brave looks like. I think that has been the propellant for the change I’ve seen so drastically over this past year. Even into the 6 months. I’ve been listening to the stirs and saying more “yes” and less “but why”. I’ve flirted with teflon abilities – not letting the unnecessary stick. I’m cultivating the follow to His “come”. Trying out obedience in the place of shame-driven apathy.
I am deciding to see worth where I once assigned paltriness.
And I am such a work in progress. I am wobbly and weak. I seek water in the desert of approval and wonder why I’m always parched. I draw near to the flames of lie-believing identification and am surprised when I blister.
But I’m yearning to be taught. I ask for lessons in the brave, because I have so much fear to drive past.
I may not receive what I initially thought I was supposed to work for. You may not either.
But I can speak from personal experience – the beauty of what does happen is far more stunning than any of my imagined rewards. Because my prize is discovering more of who He is calling me to me.
It is His brilliance, pulling apart the dark. And He is giving me the ability to do the same.
He is giving me more, for my less. Brave, to face more fears.
So I will stay the course. I will let the tension of transforming make me new. Open up just enough to let it all in again.
The Light. The Lovely. The Truth.