It’s been a while since I wrote.
I know every person understands the phrase “Life gets in the way”. It’s appropriate for so much. Applicable to countless.

It’s been well spent, the break of words. Things which occurred during the time of quiet:

  • Continuing on this journey of getting healthier.
  • Keeping my apartment warm, clean, tidied and inviting for my eyes and body each day I come home and each morning I wake. I’ve even made the bed for the past WEEK. It’s miraculous, I know.
  • Made some small, because-I-can purchases that made me smile. Two new dresses that make me feel good and encouraged and even a little lovely; four new dining chairs on a great price from Target – shipped free and assembled by my own hands; a new small but effective socket wrench set which made the assembly of said chairs go from over one hour for one, to 15 minutes each and a lot less back pain; a shirt that will give me back my proud Texas roots and that helps a terrific charity at the same time.
  • I got actual mail – which is my largest, most effective love language (hand-written mail). This time in the form of a package from a cousin (my cousin’s daughter to be exact) whom honored me more than I deserve by asking me to stand beside her on the day she becomes a Mrs. Her father and mother are deeply important to me – I grew up seeing her dad as one of my two favorite men on earth and he became my big brother than I never had and always wanted. And his daughter, this beauty, has become a cherished friend as well as someone I get to call family, forever.
  • I’ve been reading again. Bliss! I’m currently diving into France and Germany and WWII and the eyes of children who spend the pages growing up in the violent shift of all things. All The Light We Cannot See has not disappointed and I’m not even halfway through it’s thick binding.
  • I’ve spent the last two days in hospital and with family as oldest nephew had a surgery so easy and routine for all others, but no such definition for him with all his gifts the world can call complications. We just call him and them ours and use caution when needed. He stayed overnight and the doctors and nurses were wonderful. He is back to his hyper self and I got to keep my younger nephew all to myself the first night and the second day. Waking up to little arms climbing in bed and whispers of “good morning” and “I love you” and tiny lips kissing my nose and cheek….it is what love is made of, isn’t it? If every day of life were that, joy would never expire. My heart was full and my family is my soul.
  • There were hard confessions and responses not as expected. But there’s been such grace and open and welcome and verification of….so much. I dig deeper into the ways I’m blessed and try to continue climbing out of the ways I face anxiety or rejection or disappointment or questioning. I am reminded each day that I never have to question my value because there is an open tomb and a risen Groom and He places treasures in my path to ensure I’m always aware. 

I know that list isn’t comprehensive, but it provides a glimpse of how may days have risen and set.

I have not done more work on the book, and I knew I would be afraid to come down from the mountain and lose the inspiration. Yet fellow writers will know – there are times the inspiration comes on its own and times (way more often) where you must generate your own and create the progress from scratch. So I won’t give in. I have come too far to turn back now. I have such wonderful support and people waiting in the wings for their unique help with the book. I have no doubt He’s behind this and has been patiently waiting for me to get on board. So much has been orchestrated in my life, I’m believing, to allow this as fruit. What honor!

The sweetness of silence and the worship of rest is such tangible blessing. I hope everyone has the opportunity to see oneself as earmarked for the holiness of rest and recuperation. Not merely in times of physical sickness or emotional or mental strain – but too, in times where all is well. Just because. Because it is worship to honor Him with no distractions and a clear pathway to simplicity and prompt and rejuvenation and treating the space you occupy as holy ground. As the place the Spirit thrives.  

Rest is Worship

Yes, it’s all the more effective when there is pain and trouble. You’ll be amazed at the catharsis of silence. Of only you, for whatever duration your stage of life allows. All intervals able to be consumed are beneficial. Think upon this, I urge you. Let the people in your life assist in allowing you this gift. You can assist in theirs as well.

The most nourishing time I’ve had in quite a while came from a simple text from
a friend who continues to take my breath away with her loyalty and compassion.
I didn’t know I would be this blessed to find such a person here.
She spurs me on – to fight when I feel like melting away, to laugh when I need it,
to not for a moment believe my back is not watched or my heart does not matter.
She defends me when I don’t want to defend myself. I’m deeply moved by her example.

These are the kinds of medicine that awareness and vulnerability have brought me. For every time I’m met with indifference or unimportance – there are more impenetrable instances where I am fought for, championed, reminded of love and influence. It keeps me wanting to be open, though it hurts and is terrifying – it’s worth the risk because no matter the answer, I become built steadily on the Rock of Identity that lasts. I become plucked from the sins I chase after so diligently. The thorns of my rebellion are removed and I’m grafted back into the Vine of lasting fruit and purpose.

Thank you, whomever reads.

Thank you those who remind me against all odds, that I’m not alone.

Thank you, those who don’t have to do any reminding, because we’ve been part of each other for lifetimes. For sticking through the seasons and making it into the army of warriors who teach me every minute how to be braver and fight harder.

Thank you, my Carpenter King. For making me speechless with your sacrifice. For being patient with a daughter who still cannot grasp how I am one you wanted. One for who you considered was worth being torn and labeled and taunted. You absorbed any humiliation, rejection, unworthiness, languishing, pain, wrongdoing that I would ever encounter or perform and You conquered it with three days and an earthquake. Nothing was ever to be the same. You are the only reason I can breathe.

Easter is a word.            You are a Masterpiece.

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