Cognitive Dissonance & Grapes

There is cognitive dissonance which exists when a writer ceases to write. For any period of time, not participating in one’s passions can cause a myriad of reactions, one of which is the rationalization that “I don’t have anything worth saying”.
It devalues that which it once held as highest esteem – most cathartic and noble of efforts. It is a subversion of reality.

It’s hokum…

…and I do it all the time. Read More

Time for Refine[ment]

Soon, I’ll fly to a state in which I’ve never been. Then I’ll be a passenger in a car to another state I’ve never been.

I’ll be one in only 40 women in a secluded spot, staying in what used to be a convet. A holy space that will be the same for us. 

I’ll get to hug a woman I admire whom I, in blessing, finally met face-to-face over a year and a half ago. 

I’ll get to finally embrace a kindred spirit for the first time, where we’ve been connected across the time zones for years now. Writing can bring those who share passions, so very close. 

Refine, the retreat, comes in two weeks. 

My insides stir in anticipation for the quiet, the connection, the wisdom seeking and worship pouring. I crave these times. Set aside for journaling, fellowship mixed with introvert hours – perfect for growth and recuperation. 
Kris has hosted these days before and this will be my first time joining. I love the vision for keeping it small, intimate, low-key and filled with Spirit. My heart longs for that environment. 

He awakens me in such spaces. Though His pursuit is unceasing – in the every day of life as well as the carved out weekends. 

I am not truly myself when in dry seasons of writing. 

I am the only one to blame for those spells. Yet He graciously gives me times to return. And I sit in thankfulness. 

So soon I go. We gather. He moves. 

Selah

The Weight of Advent

*On October 7th,  I had the abundant honor of guest posting at author Kris Camealy’s blog for the release of her then upcoming book Come Lord Jesus: The Weight of Waiting. I wrote the piece which appeared on her site. I wanted to post it here as well, for though the book as released and Advent has passed, these pages of hers and her Father’s stay with a person. I don’t think one has to wait until a hard point on the calendar to come. To sit. To be silent and wait for His glory. For His coming. So I post on my site now, for the reminder of how the book spoke to me then. How I believe it will speak to you. Not just in November through Christmas day, but all year. Even today. Even this moment. Buy the book, I sincerely suggest. 

……

There is an added excitement when you know something is coming.

Surprises are great (I, personally, appreciate them), but there is eagerness, hope, anticipation when you know something good is ahead.

Do you remember being a kid and shifting limbs all the hours leading up to your birthday party, or leaving for a family vacation, or arguably quite the biggest of all – waiting for the morning after Santa had come?
The not-knowing what you would open mixed with the knowing the day would actually happen left the wonder bursting through our eyes for days (if not weeks).

gift

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Here’s to You

There are dry seasons to everything.
Drought rather than rain.
Stagnation rather than growth.
Silence rather than flourish of writing/communicating.
Complacency where there used to be drive, striving, reaching.

Everyone goes through these at various and repetitive points in life. I have not met one who is immune.

I think there’s a solidarity, no matter the culture, race, gender, education of a person – that we can all understand that experience. The still. The calm before the impending something.

deathtostock_quietfrontier-04

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Sound & Sense

I kept all of my literary books from College.
If it was an English class, or my contemporary theater class, or the one time I took a class on Joseph Conrad without really knowing what I was getting into…
No matter the topic, those books stayed with me, and have made every move thereafter.

Call it what you will; it honestly boils down to my sheer inability to part with the written word. Because I believe it has far more to teach me than what I extract the couple of times I open its binding. From all experience, I can come back to a book I’ve either opened a handful or hundreds of times before – and it will show me something new. It will evoke a feeling previously unnoticed. It will teach me all over again. Read More

When It Gets To Me (and why I wish it wouldn’t)

The outpouring of support and celebration from my next step announcement was so wonderfully kindhearted! Thank you, in truthfulness, for everyone who “liked” or commented or texted to share in the unexpected joy of this next adventure. Sincerely, more than you know, it touched me.

 

knead
credit

 

In the spirit of transparency, I wanted to share an ugly truth about myself from which God has been kneading (or trying to) the knots out of my character.  Read More

What Happens Next

I’ve been silent about what’s been brewing these last few months. It feels nice to still be protective of personal information – as opposed to sharing every facet the moment it occurs.

That isn’t a judgment by the way – because I participate in this Social-Media-saturated world as well. As a writer in this decade, it’s a necessity. Gathering your audience, connecting to others, being accessible. It’s part of the job. It’s also part of who I’ve always been. Open-book (most of the time, not always). Being personable has never been hard for me. I’ve never been shy.

That may be why I enjoyed this withholding all the more.
It is unique, and it was a breath of fresh air.  Read More

The Belated Announcement [Give-away winner]

So obviously this is pretty late. I was supposed to announce this last Friday.

Still, this time around – surprisingly – there was only one participant in what I think was the coolest prize to date! Read More

Give-Away Day [Words]

I know I’ve let much fall to the wayside her at my website.

I think I will be able to be better at dedicating time and energy into that which matters most to me – The Word, prayer, journaling, reading, study, and of course writing.

Today [the day I wrote this] has been a truly great day! I can barely type now between the bursts of laughter… My dog Sadie is running circles around the length of my apartment, savagely (code for daintily and adorably) flinging around her new toy that I brought home today – a yellow giraffe from Target. She is “growling” which sounds more like my asthma than anything threatening, and she is making her mama laugh! (I’m trying to focus here baby!) I just gave her a bath – well, shower…I tried something new – and she is doing her part to dry herself off. You know, tongue hanging out and running around, flailing her toy like the great warrior she is.

I will dedicate a post soon to how Sadie came to be my family. I didn’t mean to go off on a tangent but she is seriously making me laugh. If you can’t picture it, I wish you could!

Back to the reason I’m here today. I know it’s no mystery – it’s another Give-away day! Boy is this a great prize! Read More

Established Delight

I almost feel the need to apologize after long absences from writing. Even when it’s just my personal journal (which I’ve neglected way worse). This is, of course, ridiculous for many reasons. One, being to whom would I be apologizing? I’m quite positive no one has been clocking my absence. Two, being that apologizing to an inanimate object is more than a little odd – and no, I will not tell you the number of times I’ve actually done that. I’m known for my proficient apologizing skills, okay?

I finally take the time today, as I took half the day off from work (and a full day tomorrow to enjoy my birthday) to begin again. I watch my dog Sadie (an update for another post) play with her toys and listen to thunder and lay behind my chair. For when I’m at this table she stays close to me instead of her favorite couch spot.

I have been wanting to share the official story behind my first new development that was back in April – my first tattoo. Read More

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